Its 1:05 in the middle of the night, 322 days after you…
& I still blame you.
I blame you for all the anger that has built up inside of me, for all the tears that fall with no specific reason, for all the “yes, that’s my daughters body” thoughts that run and nestle in a cozy little corner in the back of my head. I blame you.
I can’t stop blaming you. It’s you that said you had me, it was you that said we would keep fighting, it was you, it was always you.
But it was me, that was foolish enough to believe, that we could be what we always portrayed ourselves to be. It was me, that went against my gut and told myself you wouldn’t do it to me. But you left. Up and away you went, like it was nothing. No look back, no double checking, you left me.
Like scrap pieces of metal in an empty abandoned junk yard, you left me.
Anything anything anything, to feel like I’m still here…